Caregiver Guilt Part 5

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 5?

Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?

So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?

It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?

Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?

  • Sometimes even wishing my Loved One’s suffering would just end?
  • Family Conflict
  • Have negative thoughts?

You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?

 “When crisis happens, who can I turn too?!

The question is are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for your or your Loved One?

Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt

Whether it is self imposed or imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression

Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.

What is Guilt? Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.

What is Resentment? Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.

If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. Visit a health professional or a doctor.

Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.

It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.

Instead of thinking I feel guilty about…

Say…

I am angry with my Loved One, and I regret I have negative feelings toward him/her right now.

Or…

I need some time to myself and I regret that this causes stress for him/her.

Or if you can’t identify what it is simply acknowledge this.

I am carrying a heavy burden and I regret that I feel resentful about that.

It’s time to start to take care of your own physical and emotional health

Today write down 1 thing you can schedule for you a trip to the doctor or hair saloon.

Remember you were created to be you!

 Create a great day!

Annie Born

Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org

Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.

P.S. You are skilful

Caregiver Guilt Part 4

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 4?

Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?

So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?

It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?

Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?

  • Wanting a little free time?
  • Not being able to keep promises?
  • Did you lose your temper?

You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?

 “I try to talk to family but they just roll their eyes, when I ask for help!”

The question is are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for your or your Loved One?

Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt

Whether it is self imposed or imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression

Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.

What is Guilt? Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.

What is Resentment? Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.

What’s Healthy? It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your loved one’s life has changed as a result of an illness or injury.

It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.

What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition. You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it! If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career. If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.

If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. A doctor or health professional can also help.

Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.

It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.

Research shows the one phrase which helps in this high emotional situation it is the words.

“This too will pass.”

Breathe in while counting to 10 and repeat these words, “this too will pass.” Breathe out.

Repeat 2x

Remember, to put the silent shame/guilt monster to rest, it is natural for you to be feeling resentment.

Resentment, that things aren’t to your expectations. It’s normal.

Take time to Breathe – Relax, This is your time to appreciate this opportunity, responding to your Loved One.

Please Note: – If you are experiencing feelings of guilt because you have intentionally caused or afraid of causing physical or emotional harm or that you feel you might cross the line & hurt someone. Seek help immediately.

Request help from friends, relatives or local respite care agencies. So you can take a break even if it is only for a few hours.

Today write down 3 people you can ask for help from in an immediate situation.

Remember you were created to be you!

 Create a great day!

Annie Born

Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org

Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.

P.S. You are amazing!

Caregiver Guilt Part 3

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 3?

Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?

So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?

It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?

Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?Have negative thought?

  • Have negative thoughts
  • Family Conflicts
  • Are You not always as loving, kind & patient as you would like to be?

You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?

 “The Doctor gave me these options for my Loved One I chose the best, is that good enough?

The question is are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for your or your Loved One?

Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt

Whether it is self imposed guilt or guilt imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression.

Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.

What is Guilt? –Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.

What is Resentment? –Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.

What’s Healthy? It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your loved one’s life has changed as a result of an illness or injury. It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.

What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition. You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it! If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career.If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.

As a Caregiver there are lots of emotions, you can feel, before you start Caregiving a Loved One, the last thing you think you will ever experience, grief, loss, guilt, anger, depression.

Yet research shows whenever a change occurs a transition progresses until the new becomes natural not normal.

Caregivers are aware of change in some form everyday.

The old Scout saying of “be prepared” helps to adapt to change fast.

Being able to adapt in a heartbeat is the new natural for Care givers.

Remember at one time or another most Caregivers experience difficult emotions.

If you are experiencing many stressor due to caregiving or experiencing life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. Visit a health professional or doctor.

Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.

It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.

Remember that negative feelings don’t make you a bad person.

You are perfectly entitled to feel all your emotions.

Today write down 3 things you would like to acknowledge about caregiving.

Remember you were created to be you!

 Create a great day!

Annie Born

Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org

Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.

P.S. You are able!

Caregiver Guilt Part 2

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 2?

Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?

So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?

It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?

Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?

  • Family Conflicts?
  • Wanting a little free time?
  • Wished for your Loved One’s suffering to just end?

You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?

 “Can’t my family understand I NEED HELP!”

The question is, are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for your or your Loved One?

Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt

Whether it is self imposed guilt or guilt imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression.

Before you accept the silent shame of guilt, ask yourself these questions.

  1.  How were you feeling physically & mentally?
  2. Did you intentionally cause harm to another person?
  3. Could you accept, explain or forgive that behaviour in someone else?
  4. Does the guilt/silent shame help your Loved One?

Caregivers are Human Too – Caregivers often put the needs of their Loved One ahead of the needs of themselves. Thinking they should be patient, loving & kind all the time, but the truth is Caregivers are human. When our own needs aren’t being met it becomes increasingly difficult to meet the needs of someone who cannot take care of him/herself.

Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.

What is Guilt? Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.

What is Resentment? Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.

What’s Healthy? It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your loved one’s life has changed as a result of an illness or injury.

It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.

What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition.

You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it! If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career. If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.

Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.

It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.

Instead of thinking I feel guilty about…

Say…

I am angry with my Loved One, and I regret I have negative feelings toward him/her right now.

Or…

I need some time to myself and I regret that this causes stress for him/her.

Or if you can’t identify what it is simply acknowledge this.

I am carrying a heavy burden and I regret that I feel resentful about that.

If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. Remember to visit a health professional or doctor.

Today write down 3 heavy burdens you feel today and who you would like to share them with.

Remember you were created to be you!

 Create a great day!

Annie Born

Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org

Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.

P.S. You are capable!

Caregiver Guilt Part 1

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 1?

Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?

So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?

It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?

Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?

  • Not being able to keep promises?
  • Having negative thoughts?
  • Did you lose your temper?

You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?

“If my Loved One asks me the same question one more time, I think I’ll scream!”

The question is – are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion, which has no benefit for You or your Loved One?

Caregivers can often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt.

Whether it is self imposed guilt or guilt imposed upon us, it is important to remember, it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression.

Before you accept the silent shame of guilt, ask yourself these questions.

  1. How were you feeling physically & mentally?
  2. Did you intentionally cause harm to another person?
  3. Could you accept, explain or forgive that behaviour in someone else?
  4.  Does the guilt/silent shame help your Loved One?

 Caregivers are Human To – Caregivers often put the needs of their Loved One ahead of the needs of themselves. Thinking they should be patient, loving & kind all the time, but the truth is Caregivers are human.When our own needs aren’t being met it becomes increasingly difficult to meet the needs of someone who cannot take care of him/herself.

Caregivers Glasses – Research has shown, caregivers often have unrealistic expectations of themselves. We don’t use the same glasses for ourselves as we do others. We use rose coloured glasses for our family & friends and for supporting them, so things are a little brighter in colour and 20/20 standard vision. Yet went we look at supporting our own challenges, we put on magnifying glasses 40x or 60x when we look at our own challenges, so things seem bigger and easier to repeat over and over again, so close.

Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.

What is Guilt? Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience, when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.

What is Resentment? Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment, over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.

What’s Healthy? It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your Loved One’s life has changed as a result of an illness, aging or injury. It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.

What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition. You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it? If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career? If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.

If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or experiencing life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. Talking with a health professional or doctor can also help.

Today write down 5 things you are grateful for.

Remember you were created to be you!

 Create a great day!

Annie Born

Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org

Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.

P.S. You are clever!