Caregiver Guilt Part 9

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 9?

Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?

So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?

It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?

Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?

  • Family Conflict?
  • Have negative thoughts?
  • Wanting some free time?

You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?

 “The Police are asking questions about my parent now!”

The question is, are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for you or your Loved One?

Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt

Whether it is self imposed or imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression

Caregivers are Human Too Caregivers often put the needs of their Loved One ahead of the needs of themselves. Thinking they should be patient, loving & kind all the time, but the truth is Caregivers are human. When our own needs aren’t being met it becomes increasingly difficult to meet the needs of someone who cannot take care of him/herself.

Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.

What’s Healthy?It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your loved one’s life has changed as a result of an illness or injury. It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.

What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition. You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it! If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career. If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.

If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. A doctor or health professional can also help.

Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.

It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.

Instead of thinking I feel guilty about…

Say…

I am angry with my Loved One, and I regret I have negative feelings toward him/her right now.

Or…

I need some time to myself and I regret that this causes stress for him/her.

Or if you can’t identify what it is simply acknowledge this.

I am carrying a heavy burden and I regret that I feel resentful about that.

Understand there will be times when you don’t like the way you feel towards your loved one.

When those things do happen, give yourself permission to be human.

Say you are sorry when you should.

Allow yourself to feel and express regret for the emotion or event & then move on.

You will feel more positive & energised when you focus on something that makes you feel good about yourself and your Loved One

Today write down 3 emotions you are feeling today.

Remember you were created to be you!

 Create a great day!

Annie Born

Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org

Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.

P.S. You are gifted!

6 thoughts on “Caregiver Guilt Part 9

  1. Hi Annie,

    Indeed, we are created to be us first, and caregiving is only one of our many life tasks over the course of a lifetime of loving relationships. I myself did my major caregiving as a wife to my husband. It was a natural part of our marriage. It gave touching meaning to our wedding vows, “In sickness and in health,” because when we uttered them, cancer was already part of our lives.

    Happy Dating and Relationships,

    April Braswell – Internet Matchmaker San Francisco Bay Area
    Top 3 Common 1st Date Dress Errors Single Women

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