Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 7?
Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?
So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?
It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?
Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?
- · Family Conflict?
- · Have negative thoughts?
- · You aren’t always as loving, kind & patient as you would like to be?
You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?
“He/She collapsed and was taken to the hospital, I couldn’t find him/her for 5 hours!
The question is are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for you or your Loved One?
Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt
Whether it is self imposed or imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression.
Caregivers are Human Too Caregivers often put the needs of their Loved One ahead of the needs of themselves. Thinking they should be patient, loving & kind all the time, but the truth is Caregivers are human. When our own needs aren’t being met it becomes increasingly difficult to meet the needs of someone who cannot take care of him/herself
Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.
What is Guilt? Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.
What is Resentment? Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.
If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. A doctor or health professional can also help.
Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.
It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.
Instead of thinking I feel guilty about…
I am angry with my Loved One, and I regret I have negative feelings toward him/her right now.
I need some time to myself and I regret that this causes stress for him/her.
Or if you can’t identify what it is simply acknowledge this.
I am carrying a heavy burden and I regret that I feel resentful about that.
Understand that caring for an aging, chronically ill or disabled person is extremely stressful.
Accept that some days you will get angry.
When those things do happen, give yourself permission to be human.
Say you are sorry when you should.
Allow yourself to feel and express regret for the emotion or event & then move on.
You will feel more positive & energised when you focus on something that makes you feel good about yourself and your Loved One.
Today write down 1 thing you could be angry about.
Remember you were created to be you!
Create a great day!
Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org
Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.
P.S. You are exceptional!