Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 4?
Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?
So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?
It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?
Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?
- Wanting a little free time?
- Not being able to keep promises?
- Did you lose your temper?
You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?
“I try to talk to family but they just roll their eyes, when I ask for help!”
The question is are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for your or your Loved One?
Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt
Whether it is self imposed or imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression
Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.
What is Guilt? Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.
What is Resentment? Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.
What’s Healthy? It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your loved one’s life has changed as a result of an illness or injury.
It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.
What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition. You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it! If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career. If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.
If you are experiencing any stressor due to caregiving or life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. A doctor or health professional can also help.
Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.
It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.
Research shows the one phrase which helps in this high emotional situation it is the words.
“This too will pass.”
Breathe in while counting to 10 and repeat these words, “this too will pass.” Breathe out.
Remember, to put the silent shame/guilt monster to rest, it is natural for you to be feeling resentment.
Resentment, that things aren’t to your expectations. It’s normal.
Take time to Breathe – Relax, This is your time to appreciate this opportunity, responding to your Loved One.
Please Note: – If you are experiencing feelings of guilt because you have intentionally caused or afraid of causing physical or emotional harm or that you feel you might cross the line & hurt someone. Seek help immediately.
Request help from friends, relatives or local respite care agencies. So you can take a break even if it is only for a few hours.
Today write down 3 people you can ask for help from in an immediate situation.
Remember you were created to be you!
Create a great day!
Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org
Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.
P.S. You are amazing!