Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about Caregiver Guilt Part 3?
Is guilt the Caregiver’s silent shame?
So what is the silent shame of Caregiver Guilt?
It is that feeling in the pit of your gut, you know everything isn’t right with your world?
Yet you feel powerless, to do anything about it?Have negative thought?
- Have negative thoughts
- Family Conflicts
- Are You not always as loving, kind & patient as you would like to be?
You want to make it better, yet, you are not sure how, and it’s will be another day, soon?
“The Doctor gave me these options for my Loved One I chose the best, is that good enough?
The question is are you wasting a lot of energy on an emotion which has no benefit for your or your Loved One?
Caregivers often get caught up in the spiralling cycle of anger followed by guilt
Whether it is self imposed guilt or guilt imposed upon us, it is important to remember it often leads to feelings of resentment and depression.
Yet, Caregivers often mistake the feeling of guilt with the feeling of resentment.
What is Guilt? –Remember – guilt is the feeling we experience when we intentionally cause physical or emotional harm to another person.
What is Resentment? –Resentment is the feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We regret a loss or a missed opportunity.
What’s Healthy? It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to regret how yours & your loved one’s life has changed as a result of an illness or injury. It’s natural to feel tremendous sadness & disappointment over the progress of a disease.
What’s Not Healthy? It is not healthy for you to stop living your life and accept the responsibility of your Loved One’s condition. You didn’t cause it, You can’t change it! If your body is still healthy, if you can still pursue work/career.If you can enjoy being with family and friends feel grateful not guilty.
As a Caregiver there are lots of emotions, you can feel, before you start Caregiving a Loved One, the last thing you think you will ever experience, grief, loss, guilt, anger, depression.
Yet research shows whenever a change occurs a transition progresses until the new becomes natural not normal.
Caregivers are aware of change in some form everyday.
The old Scout saying of “be prepared” helps to adapt to change fast.
Being able to adapt in a heartbeat is the new natural for Care givers.
Remember at one time or another most Caregivers experience difficult emotions.
If you are experiencing many stressor due to caregiving or experiencing life, remember talking to someone as a sounding board can help put things into perspective. Visit a health professional or doctor.
Next time you feel the silent shame/guilt monster closing in on your.
It’s time to start reframing, your thinking.
Remember that negative feelings don’t make you a bad person.
You are perfectly entitled to feel all your emotions.
Today write down 3 things you would like to acknowledge about caregiving.
Remember you were created to be you!
Create a great day!
Author & Founder of CarefortheCaregiver.org
Remember to Stay Linked, Informed & Educated to Bring Hope, Health & Happiness to the World.
P.S. You are able!